Living Las Vegas

Invited to a friend's goth wedding, I'm writing this from Las Vegas, a literal hotbed of manic defenses, as well as a Kleinian wonderland of maternal abundance (the good breast, everyone?) on public display. Before leaving, I sent a Father's Day card to my former analyst, chronicling certain recent activities that could be construed as acts of independence, but which also, I realized, might be interpreted as rebellion. And, it's nearing July 4th, so this piece is about freedom. 

This summer, declare independence from your bad internal objects and persecutory anxieties. Shoo away your ghosts and invite them back into the house when they can behave like proper ancestors. Liberate yourself from your cherished, dog-eared theories and dabble in some new-to-you thinking - Ferro, Mitriani, Green, Chasseguet-Smirgel, Schore, whoever. Unshackle your treatment plan and get supervision, join a case conference, or cappuccino consult with a colleague. Take a class at what feels like a rogue institute. Rebel, people! 

The wedding was held at night in the desert. In the chapel, fog was piped in to create a gothic ambience. Our party was garbed in black, head-to-toe. The bride wore a flowing black patent dress and clung to a bouquet of velvety black roses. The groom donned an ankle-length Rifle Frock Coat, the traditional coat of the Wild West. Not-so-traditional vows were exchanged and our party dined post-nuptials at the immense buffet in the Bellagio Hotel. Walking back to my room, a wife screeched at her husband for calling her a #@!% in front of their friends. "But, you are a #@!% ," he calmly replied. In the corridor, I passed two men talking in low tones and overheard the phrase "allocation of marital assets." May I offer anyone a manic defense?Please, help yourself. Anyone for seconds? 

Unpacking, I realized I forgot my SPF 50. The Wolfman and Other Cases had not fit into my carry-on. (OK, I didn't try that hard). I'd brought a BCBG silver lam" swimsuit and a capacity for play. I won't gamble a nickel. Independence? Rebellion? Manic defenses? As we say back home...whatever. 

Cleopatra Victoria, MFT
IMPULSE Editor